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Unless you are under house arrest or bedridden with bronchitis, there's really no reason to have sex indoors. Walls are so Topeka-ish.

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We live in a subtropical paradise with very loose morals. There might not be a better city in the world in which to penetrate a friend in the fresh air. Our lawyer says we should remind you that outdoor sex is illegal, and if you get caught porking in the ,iami, don't call us for bail money. We asked Norman Kent, a local attorney who specializes moami the defense of clients accused of public sex, how to avoid getting places to have sex in miami for muff-in-the-rough.

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miaim Related stories: Miami New Times Sex Survey results are in! It's probably a cop trying to induce you to engage in behavior or conduct that you would never consider. Haulover Wife seeking hot sex Placid Lakes The upside to having sex at Miami's only "clothing-optional" beach is that everybody is already naked, palces if you go into the water, nobody can see you unless they're wearing gogglesand there's just a lot of gray area.

Places to have sex in miami to say you weren't simply hugging your friend — from behind — and it slipped in?

The downside to having sex here is you'll get sand in places even the bravest urologist or gynecologist won't traverse. And also jellyfish.

Evil, evil jellyfish. The men's bathroom at Mansion: There are a couple of obstacles to getting it on.

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The second hurdle is persuading your miamii companion to carnally intermingle in a stall puddled with vomit while LMFAO blares overhead.

But to drop your dragon-embroidered jeans places to have sex in miami lift your partner's minidress over her hair poof and copulate in a standing position in these environs, well, it's the Miami version of scaling Everest.

A car on a suburban street in Kendall: The upside is the air conditioning and NPR.

The downside is that a cop patrolling the burbs is probably extremely bored and has plenty of time for lengthy interrogations and painstaking paperwork. He will treat your Nissan fling like a criminal conspiracy.

Your mug shot will end up on the Internet, places to have sex in miami the temp agency will never call placed. On the other hand, Diane Rehm's voice is just an irresistible natural aphrodisiac. Don Shula's Golf Club: Share a steak dinner, a loaded baked potato, and six or seven gin martinis and then slink out back to the unlit golf course, where the expertly cut grass is cool and places to have sex in miami.

Just watch out for sprinklers.

Sex Issue: The Best Places To Get It On In Public | Miami New Times

We know it's fantastical, but we do enjoy the idea of Old Man Shula himself gingerly lifting a thong out of a sand trap with his nine-iron the next morning, craning his head to the sky, and screaming, "Kids! Moami have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter s - please keep an eye on your places to have sex in miami, we're movin' in!

Hialeah's Executive Palace Hotel gives you more bang for your buck. Shawn Loftis's big, gay odyssey. All rights reserved.

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Miami's best spots for sexy time under the starry sky. Gus Garcia-Roberts 4.

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Miami's best spots for sexy time under the starry sky Gus Garcia-Roberts September 8, 4: Facebook Twitter. Info outdoor sex in Miami Related stories: If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.

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